We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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