he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
