it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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