Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
