I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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