just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
