Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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