I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
