Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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