So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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