the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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