I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Everclear isn't food dammit
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
