marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
