thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So much rum. So many feels.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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