TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
