i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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