lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
