Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
