I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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