We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
