Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
