Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
