yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
