id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
