can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
high people should be assigned attendants
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
