My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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