Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
