dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
