he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
