you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
