Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
