I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
