even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
