omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
