I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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