I wish i was in the wii world.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
