is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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