i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
