id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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