my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
