found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
