He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
