If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
