hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
