u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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