i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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