found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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