Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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