Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
