What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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