i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Text me some of your sweat
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
